And after

The days following Mom's death were somehow easier to maneuver, given I'd gone through the needed procedures just weeks before when my husband died:  notify funeral home/clergy/family, plan funeral, determine vessel for cremains... 

Around midnight of Nov. 1, the night Mom died,  I connected with the funeral home staff person who had helped me with Pete's death.  Somehow that familiar voice on the phone was comforting, and even though we eventually focused arrangements for Mom's funeral with another staff member, I appreciated Spencer knew my situation--that I was going through another family death.

I don't think there was much doubt among us siblings that Mom's funeral would be a "celebration" of a life well lived.  Initially we wondered whether we should hold that celebration immediately, or whether we should wait until the Brazilian part of the family joined us as planned at Christmas.  We've decided to wait--have chosen December 27 as a day when the family will gather and revel in our mom, our saint, who passed away on All Saints' Day.  What a gal.