On the move...

So finally have some alone time, some free time to begin wrapping myself around Pete and his life and his death.  Will begin opening cards from the funeral and those that have been coming in daily in the mail.  I must have 200, and I want to enjoy each and every one.  I'm able to relish little things, like the good coffee I'm sipping on the porch here as I write while gazing at the hummingbird and cardinal at the feeder. Occasionally there's a surging sense of freedom that creeps into my emotions and thoughts.  My caretaking duties have been cut 75 percent and I feel a lightness...like I'm floating.  My time is MY time, my obligations are MY obligations, my delights are MY delights.

Our godson called yesterday inviting me to his wedding--in Thailand in March.  So easy to say, "Of course I'll come.  Would love to!" Ten days of discovery and celebration.  What could be better?  And I'll be carrying Pete with me in my heart.  In fact, he's closer to me now than before, because before he was ON my heart, and now as it breaks, he's IN my heart.  And we two have melded into one as never before.